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Ocean and Trees

When the world inside you

is shouting

with all its might.

Sometimes

it feels good

to stay inside.

Sometimes

it feels good

to hide.

Sometimes

it feels good

to lose your mind.

It’s not something

you want to repeat

but then

it repeats

and repeats

it doesn’t stop.

The thoughts are never ending,

the phase so incomplete

just repeating.

The truth starts to reckon

And you start thinking

And thinking

And thinking

Going further out to sea.

You then find yourself

in the dark

with the water all around.

You see the moonlight

high in the sky

it’s all that can be found.

The moon whispers,

“I get how it feels too.

I know how to swim

and drown too.

Nothing to balance.

The water all around.

Just me shining down.”

So then

I put an end

to what feels good.

I choose to swim.

I choose to feel pain

No longer hiding

I embrace.

I choose to repeat the phase

from a new place.

Then I find myself

in the trees

no longer in the ocean

drown.

No longer pushing

to feel good,

I feel free

Loved

Found

“See the forest for the trees.”

– John Heywood 🍃

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Heavy Heart

My bully had a heavy heart

She walked around

Trying to start

A heart of heavy

A heavy heart

My bully had one best friend

She walked around

Trying to defend

A heart of heavy

A heavy heart

My bully had bloody scars

She walked around

Bullying scars she found

A heart of heavy

A heavy heart

My bully had loved

She walked around

With rejection and lost

She walked around

Confound, confound

A heart of heavy

A heavy heart

My bully gave up

She touched the ground

Accepted

She touched the ground

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Hate Can’t Find Me

Say what you want

You can hate me

I’ll carry that weight

Of hate

Because you ain’t* me

And it gots me

Like I got

The grit

That it comes with

Say what you want

You can hate me

I’m just getting

Started

Like I had a baby

Not full of hate

But beside me

It’s my ride or die

What’s inside me

I know what I got

Hate can’t find me

And it gots me

Like I got

The love

That’s beside me

*Ain’t ain’t a word and you ain’t supposed to say it, say ain’t five times and you ain’t goin to heaven. ❤

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Naked

I thought I knew what I was saying.

Like I could feel my words

Falling into your lap.

And everything I’d think

Or say to you

Would tell you

How I really feel.

But when my thoughts

Became words

To leave me

Somehow they left

You as an enemy.

I only said what

Was inside of me

And you denied it

And said

My words

Lie to me.

My emotions

Were never present

When I spoke

And still

Whatever I was saying

Found you

To leave you wounded

And bruised

And naked.

And my thoughts

Feeling mistaken

Broke and left me

Like I knew what I was saying.

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Misfit Girl

I saw the world

From the eyes of a misfit girl

Full of limitations, disappointments, fear

 

But then, my eyes were widened

To a pop

And the world spilled out some truth

 

So, I took notice

And I saw the world

And how it measured

 

Truth is:

It wasn’t fitting

It was missing

 

It was lost

And gone forever

 

When I saw this

  

I lost the

Girl

 

I lost the girl

And the world

From the eyes of a misfit girl