I knew the package came from her and I knew what was inside.
I sat with furniture and suitcases tightly packed around me. The only space being my own little corner where I could easily shift in to gear and steer the wheel to my new home. I wanted to tear open the package. Pour out its contents on to my lap. Read the letter I knew was waiting for me inside. Discover the unpredictable treasures of what I knew would be articles of clothing or trinkets she found at some time of day, in some random place…All manifestations of her thoughts of me. Gifts speak truth to the love harbored by the brokenhearted for the brokenhearted. She loved me unconditionally and I had chosen to let her go.
The way the manila envelope felt in my hands sent my heart in to my throat and the heaviness of nausea and stillness consumed me for a brief moment. My blood felt cold and my heart seemed to be the only part of me still moving forward through time. I listened to it thud loudly against my chest and in an instant the package laid unopened on the floor. Without thought, my limbs did what they needed to bring the car to life.
I was behind the wheel driving the car, but someone else was breathing strength in to my limp body. I had become increasingly familiar with this fresh breathe of air over the past few weeks, each new breathe had grown larger than the one before. Once again, He came to my rescue. Right there in that moment. There He was.
He now steers my wheel.
And with that thought I pushed down on the gas. His peace warmed my blood, the nausea dissipated, and the car moved forward with a smile…
“Can You Endure the Silence?
Of walking out your faith before God, who does not always speak to your insecurities? Sometimes God says nothing at moments of tremendous insecurity. He does not talk just to make you feel good. He will speak to you at pivotal moments in your life.” – T.D. Jakes
– Kelsey Jo