Is Anyone Loyal to Purpose Anymore?

OH how I love TD Jakes.

My whole frame is shaking as I type these words…why has it been so long?

It seems I only write when my passion MEETS pain. It’s when we choose to overcome intense emotions of passion and pain we begin to experience purpose.

TD Jakes says, “Great passion and great pain are the wonder twins of purpose. You cannot have great passion without great pain.”

I walk swiftly and purposefully. Every step I take from my heel to my toe screams with energy.

I can’t deny my doubts and fears. Sometimes when I’m running down the stairs in the mornings to catch the train, some strange thought rushes through my mind as I watch them fall behind me one after the other. The thought goes,

Hey, imagine if you slipped right now and shattered your face on the cement? You’re going so fast, one wrong step and you just might ruin everything.

An image of myself falling with my backpack dragging me to the brutal force of the sharp edged steps emerges. I shake my head and think,

Now that would be a disaster.

When I’m almost to the bottom of the steps the thought screams louder,

HEY, REALLY YOU’RE GOING TO BREAK YOUR NECK! 

I roll my eyes,

Come on, don’t be ridiculous. YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE YOURSELF FALL.

Down the steps and I’m nearly running to the heavy door at the end of the hall. I push it open with might and a loud breathe. The sky is brilliant. I take it all in. The sun sneaking up behind the East mountains, preparing the switchboard with anticipation. The clouds’ shadows stretching out freely with static jubilance. The air humming sweet melodies to prepare the tune of a new day.

The air plays the music,

The clouds dance the song,

The sun lights the stage–

We are the audience. 

When I get to the station, the regular eyes of strangers find mine. I wonder if they notice the performance. Sometimes I smile and think a thought to them (if that’s even a real thing),

Do you see it, too? The masterpiece of this new day?

I think they hear me. The responses are mixed,

YES! Aren’t you glad we got here early to watch it begin?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT? Don’t smile at me.

Sorry, what did you say? I don’t have the time…

I’m too sad to watch another performance. I’m too lonely. it’s just the same dance, the same song, the same stage.

What are we supposed to be watching again?

The train arrives and the passengers crowd inside. Everyone’s staring at the same glass pane, but few look out the window.


Is anyone loyal to purpose anymore?


What was that thing you always wanted to do? The thing that when you did it your thoughts screamed, “Hey slow down you might fall?” The thing that made you uncomfortable, but caused you pain when you didn’t do it?

Keep going and burst through the door! Leave your fears behind you.  My friend, the performance is about to begin and you don’t want to miss it. Who knows, someday you might be the one passing out tickets or saving a front row seat for someone else.

Consider this quote by Marianne Williamson,

“You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

With nothing but Love,

Kelsey With Some Jo ❤

Check out TD Jakes Motivational Speech, “Passion & Pain” for more!

 

 

 

 

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I knew the package came from her and I knew what was inside.

I sat with furniture and suitcases tightly packed around me. The only space being my own little corner where I could easily shift in to gear and steer the wheel to my new home. I wanted to tear open the package. Pour out its contents on to my lap. Read the letter I knew was waiting for me inside. Discover the unpredictable treasures of what I knew would be articles of clothing or trinkets she found at some time of day, in some random place…All manifestations of her thoughts of me. Gifts speak truth to the love harbored by the brokenhearted for the brokenhearted. She loved me unconditionally and I had chosen to let her go.

The way the manila envelope felt in my hands sent my heart in to my throat and the heaviness of nausea and stillness consumed me for a brief moment. My blood felt cold and my heart seemed to be the only part of me still moving forward through time. I listened to it thud loudly against my chest and in an instant the package laid unopened on the floor. Without thought, my limbs did what they needed to bring the car to life.

I was behind the wheel driving the car, but someone else was breathing strength in to my limp body. I had become increasingly familiar with this fresh breathe of air over the past few weeks, each new breathe had grown larger than the one before. Once again, He came to my rescue. Right there in that moment. There He was.

He now steers my wheel.

And with that thought I pushed down on the gas. His peace warmed my blood, the nausea dissipated, and the car moved forward with a smile…

 

“Can You Endure the Silence?

Of walking out your faith before God, who does not always speak to your insecurities? Sometimes God says nothing at moments of tremendous insecurity. He does not talk just to make you feel good. He will speak to you at pivotal moments in your life.” – T.D. Jakes

 

With Love,

Kelsey With Some Jo ❤

First Friday

First Friday of my life.

First Friday to end this lie.

First Friday to let God take the prize.

First Friday without my strength.

First Friday

To know where I came.

 

First Friday of my life.

First Friday unafraid.

First Friday to surrender my disgrace.

First Friday without what I will.

First Friday

To walk while He tells.

 

First Friday of my life.

First Friday, no more pain.

First Friday to kiss His face.

First Friday without broken faith.

First Friday

I’ll take what He gave.

 

Kelsey With Some Jo ❤